Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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