Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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