I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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