I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize