Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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