i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
