You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
