Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
