Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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