Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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