every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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