You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
