Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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