Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
