I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
