my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
