Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
