do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
