You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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