member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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