he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
