made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is wine microwaveable?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
