He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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