I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
