I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
