it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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