i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
