You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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