new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
