Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
