I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
