dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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