I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
