i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
