captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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