I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
