Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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