You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
