I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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