No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize