I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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