I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
