We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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