I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
