Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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