She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
