I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
