You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
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We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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