well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
