you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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