Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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