Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
