We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
