Having a random hookup so left but love u
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
