all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
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last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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