we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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