She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
