I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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