What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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