so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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